Chatty Divas: Does Me-Time make ME Selfish?

Me-Time – The Sacred Hour

Everybody needs a Me -Time, and I mean everybody; whether one is a housewife, businessperson, salaried employee, student, singer, dancer… We all need Me-Time. What is this enigma? It’s actually your personal time, no, it’s not the 25^th hour of the day, though some days I wish there were more than 24 hours in a day, there is so much to do and very little time.

What does a person do in this Me-time? Anything that brings you closer to yourself, confusing you, am I? Let me rephrase my words, if a businessman finds his Me-time in pottery making, it’s his Me-time. A home-maker enjoys trading, it’s her Me-time, a teacher cooks, a banker paints, an athlete reads, singer walks….anything and any combination works here. Don’t confuse Me-time with hobbies; your hobby can be a part of your me-time but not always. Your hobbies might be stamp collecting and playing the guitar but you could communicate with yourself while walking in the neighborhood park at dusk every day.

There are no rules laid down for this special time and it doesn’t have to be a solitary event. You can chill at the pub with friends during it or at the beauty parlor or spa. Any activity that soothes your heart and gives you happiness can be considered as Me-time. Be selfish while concentrating on your happiness, ‘Me’ is selfish but it helps others. When you are happy, others automatically become happy.

Working Women  and Me-Time

I read this article in today’s newspaper, Supermums’ likely victims of depression:

“Working mothers who expect that a successful  career and family life can be blended with relative ease, are more likely to become depressed than women who accept they “cannot do it all”, according to a new research. They become frustrated when they fail to measure up to their own expectations.  “You can happily combine child rearing and a career, if you are willing to let some things slide, sociologist Katrina Leupp, of Washington University, said. When the women reached the age of 40, Leupp measured their levels of depression and found the stay-at-home mothers had more symptoms of depression than the working ones.”

The Power of Personal Time

I have tried to keep my mind clutter-free and recharged by looking after it via Me-time and let a lot of things slide in the process. This has led to some minor squirmishes at home but nothing life-threatening like depression, which is a result of trying to do it all without caring for yourself. Both the stay-at-home mothers and working supermoms are at a high risk of depression unless they take some measures to protect their hearts and minds.

My ‘Me-time’ is my evening walk in the stadium, come rain or shine, I am out there walking. It’s raining in Delhi nowadays and my trusted umbrella is out of the closet, it accompanies me out there, and on a few adventurous days, I leave it behind and truly enjoy myself. The rain soaks into my soul and rejuvenates me. I forget everything else  when I am out there walking and break into an impromptu jig, startling the other sedate and serious walkers around.

I listen to my favorite songs on my i-pod and walk silently for an hour daily, It takes me 15 minutes to complete one round of the stadium, on good days I manage to go around 5 times. I de-stress during my walk, some days I am happy and on other days I am melancholy and contemplative. I cleanse my soul when I walk, I talk to my father who is no more present in my world physically but who is always with me, every step of the way. He doesn’t let me brood for long on my soul-seeking walks and reels me in when I am drowning, distracts me with his happy talk.

Walking to Rejuvenate the Soul

For the first ten minutes, I let all the day’s frustrations, happenings and incidents come to mind. I don’t free my mind or shoo them away. Once I’ve gone through the list of all the things that had transpired, I tear the list mentally and throw it in the invisible recycle bin.

Then starts my beautiful Me-time. I look around at the beauty of nature, hear the chirping birds, and see the squirrels scampering up and down the tree-trunks. It soothes even the weariest of onlookers and non-believers too.

I heal, as I walk, breathe in the clean, fresh air, look up at the clouds and say a silent prayer of gratitude. I thank God for everything that he has blessed me with, I feel happy to be alive. I finish my walk and head back to reality, which is also an important part of my beautiful life.

I reach home, glowing with wonder and gratitude for all the blessings in my life. My son Kartik says I look the happiest when I walk through the door in the evening, post my walk. I radiate a healthy glow, and look rested and ready to take on the world once again. Come tomorrow, I will be out once again, rejuvenating my soul.

Home-makers are guilty about Me-time; don’t be. Only if you are happy, can you keep all around you in the same state of joy. A working woman has her own set of problems and stresses but you can’t say that hers are more severe than yours. How does one compare them? An important board-meeting or your daughter coming home past her curfew are equally stressful for both. If you measured their anxiety levels, the mother’s will be much higher than the professional woman’s or at par at least.

An article in The Times of India explains this succinctly:

“Moms spend 70hr/week on home chores, PTI Jul 22, 2011, 05.39am IST LONDON: It’s a finding which may not come as a surprise for many women — mothers give 70 hours a week to household chores, a study has found. The researchers calculated that the average mother could earn £37,000 if she was paid the going rate for chores such as cooking and cleaning — enough to cover the cost of hiring a nanny, cleaner and tutor to do the tasks. A third of mothers get less than six hours of sleep at night, while 83% reported having less than an hour of “Me time” every day, found the study carried out by mobile phone network Three.”

Only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches, believe me I know. I have worn both kinds of shoes and the agony of the pinches has driven me slightly insane. My feet hurt in the memory of those days. You know friends, life is beautiful only if we accept it and embrace all its eccentricities and adventures. So what if we cry on some days, nothing is permanent, even the seasons change. So why can’t our moods? But Me-time creates a sense of balance in our lives, try it and see for yourself.

You need to guard your Me-time with all your might because people can be like poachers, they’d steal your soul if they could. Your time alone is the most important and precious commodity for you, don’t let anyone take it away from you for any reason. A friend wants to celebrate her success with you, fine; you agree to go out with her after your walk. People coming over, by all means but after 8.30 p m. Don’t compromise on your sacred hour; it’s the one thing keeping you geared up for facing any challenge in this turbulent world. Twenty three hours in the day are for the world, this one hour is yours alone; guard it with your life, I DO.

Sulekha aka Lucks

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What do you all think? Do share your thoughts with us.