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Flashback!

When Indian-American Children Become Parents

This Mother’s Day, we look at what happens when children grow up and become parents for the first time. Sarina Jain grew up in America in the 70’s when kids were embarrassed by the ‘curry’ smells of their lunch and the Indian-ness of their names.

She faced the conflict of  adapting to her own Indian culture in America and found solutions in putting bhangra and fitness together, in sharing her culture with her American friends, and finally in making desi culture ‘cool’ for young Indians growing up in America. It all came full circle when Sarina herself become a mother and wanted to pass on her culture to her daughter.

This is Sarina Jain’s take and we welcome guest blogs from other first and second-generation Indian-Americans on growing up in America.

•  Lavina Melwani, Lassi with Lavina

Guest Blog:

To India with Love, from Sarina Jain 

Growing up in America in the 70’s was not easy. I have major experiences of people running around me like I was a Cherokee Indian. And of course there was the ‘dot’ embarrassment. I definitely remember going to the Hindu temple and feeling more at home with kids who felt like me. I was actually embarrassed to be Indian and it was only when I hit 17, did I realize that my culture was pretty amazing. And go figure – look at what I do now: I promote Indian culture around the world!

I remember the thrill of being sixteen and traveling with my sister alone–internationally–for the very first time. We were in India. Our dad had forced us to go on this trip; he had always stressed the importance of appreciating our heritage. I was scared, as there’s definitely a sense of vulnerability when traveling without one’s parents.

I didn’t know what to expect. I remember looking out the window of the hurtling train, and being absolutely mesmerized by my surroundings.

I didn’t understand the importance of the trip at the time, but looking back at these memories as an adult, I realize how much my travels really intensified my love for my Indian heritage. It was like the bond my father had so desperately wanted my sister and I to share with the country he grew up in, was finally coming to life.

Fast forward to the present moment. I am a mother to my one-year-old, second-generation American daughter, Sahana Jain, and I love it. It is so incredibly important for me to get her to embrace her culture.

Growing up, I was heavily involved in the Indian community–some of my fondest memories include being a competitive Bollywood and Bhangra dancer. I want Sahana to experience this same type of positive energy, strength, and connection to her Indian identity.

My husband Rajat and I try to immerse our daughter in her Indian heritage in as many ways as we can. Just recently, she celebrated her first Rakshabandan, a festival in which brothers and sisters tie a Rakhi on one another as a symbol of their love and protection.

 

My sister had come over from Jersey City with her two sons, and we had all dressed up our kids in traditional Indian clothes. We tried to explain to our children to the best of our ability the meaning behind the festival, and how this would mark the beginning of many more Rakshabandan celebrations to come. This was especially important to me because it showed the formal establishment of a tradition—an event my sister and I had engaged in growing up, that we were now passing onto our children.

Another more recent goal of mine is to take Sahana to the temple every week. She claps her way through all the religious songs and even learned how to say Namaste to everyone.  She was so comfortable with all the kids, and I was warmed by their kindness and willingness to involve her. It makes me beyond grateful to know that all these people have opened up their hearts to us.

I guess the thoughts that I am trying to share are about the importance of embracing you. At one point in time, I was embarrassed of being Indian. But now, more than ever, I have realized how much my background has contributed to my sense of identity. I hope to instill these same feelings of appreciation in my daughter. Moreover, I sincerely hope that my husband and I are able to raise her in a way that ensures she learns to value diversity, and looks at the world with an open heart and mind.

I am thrilled to have my daughter grow up in the heart of New York City, and surrounded with so many different types of people, from so many different countries. I look at her now, being one year old, and I feel the immense joy she brings us. I cannot wait to see what her future entails, and how being Indian and American (and a New Yorker!) plays out as she grows into a young adult.

(Sarina Jain has been in the fitness industry for the past 25 years.  She is the pioneer of introducing Indian music and dance to the US Fitness Industry, and is celebrating 18 years of  Masala Bhangra.  She lives in NYC with her husband, 18-month-old daughter and lots of love!)