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The Adoption from India Series…

When Couples Adopt from India: Meet Sanaya, Shreya and Apoorva

 Adoption: A follow-up to how One Family is doing

 

Back in 2010 I had done an extensive story on adopting children from India. The story seemed to touch a raw nerve with readers. Over the years, people have accessed this story and scores of young couples have approached me to put them in touch with some of the families who were profiled in the story.  In fact, as Shreya Patel, one of the women I interviewed, told me, “Over the nine years that story has run on Lassi with Lavina, we must have talked to at least 70 to 80 couples from your blog!”

So I thought I would re-visit the couples and see how they have done in the intervening decade. Have the adoptions been successful and what advice do they have for other couples who want to adopt from India.

Here I reintroduce you the family of baby Sanaya. She was adopted by Shreya and  Apoorva Patel ten years ago.

“Sanaya was only eight months when we brought her back to the US – although we knew about her since she was four months  old,” recalls Shreya. “Once we got her into the states it was a very smooth transition.  Because both Apoorva and I were present at the US embassy in New Delhi when we went to get her visa, she got her citizenship the moment we landed in the US.  If only one of us were present, she would have received the green card.  She handled the flights pretty well — we were quite worried about this.  Her integration into the family was very smooth, everyone that meet her adored her and she was a very easy going baby who played with everyone.” 

“Everybody took to her in the family so that was not a problem,” says her father Apoorva. ““I think at the ashram they were cooking the same food for kids of all ages, so when Sanaya was a baby living at the ashram, she used to eat what every one else ate (usually pretty spicy).  Since there are few employees taking care of many kids, they cannot cater to the needs and wants of each child.  Once we brought her home and she started to get personalized attention, she realized that she did not have to put up with food she didn’t like, she started getting fussy about here food like all the babies are wont to do.  It was an interesting transition to see in her attitude.”

Shreya and  Apoorva Patel live in Atlanta, GA and as I got on the phone with them in New York, they told me Sanaya was sitting with them as they answered the questions.

Q: How did Sanaya adapt to the family?

Shreya:  She was only eight months old, so she did not have any issues adapting to the family.  It was pretty smooth.

Apoorva:  She has bonded very well with everyone in the immediate and extended family.

Q: What suggestions would you have for families looking to adopt?

Shreya: You need to have patience with the process, it can take longer than expected.

Also, do not over focus on physical attributes of a child.  I have often answered the call of potential adoptive parents to provide information and support, some of them have expressed concerns about the physical attributes of the baby — looks, height, weight — and Sanaya has overheard some of these conversations. Sanaya says, they shouldn’t care about how the baby looks!  They should be happy that they are getting a kid.  They should not care about every single detail.

Apoorva: Get any baby pictures you can of the child that were taken before you adopted the child.  When we are looking at baby photos of children of neighbors, friends, and family members, I know she gets a little sad that she does not know what she looked like as a baby.

 

 

Q:  Has it become easier or more difficult to adopt from India?

Shreya:  The process has become easier and quicker as all the applications go into CARA – the process is more streamlined now.  On the flip side, before CARA, you could choose orphanage in India that you wanted to register with.  Also, if you are matched with a child and you do not accept the match, then your name goes back to end of the queue.

Q: Have you told Sanaya about her adoption or are you leaving that for another time?

Apoorva: She has always known.  As part of the application process, you have to take online courses and they emphasize letting the child know from the beginning by way of keeping pictures of the orphanage in the family albums, discussing it openly, and celebrating the “got you” (adoption) date as well as the birthdays.

Shreya: When the topic comes up, Sanaya says that, “I am glad we are a family.”

Q: What is the best part of this special relationship?

Sanaya’s response: that we are always together.

Shreya: That we have a family – she makes us a complete family.

Apoorva: Sometimes I marvel at the probability of us ending up together.  The number of things that had to worked out one way or the other for us to end up with this special little person who is always joyful and curious.  I have to pinch myself!

 

 

Related Article:

Adoptions from India – Everything You wanted to Know