Domestic Goddess, Housewife, Career Woman, Domestic Engineer or Entrepreneur?
I read a wonderful article by a friend this morning and I have been feeling very good about the world in general. Quoting him, “Many so-called ‘housewives’ consider career women as tarts, while many so-called ‘career women’ scoff and look down upon domestic chores as below their dignity.”
I couldn’t have said it better.
Taking up from my last article on Lassi with Lavina, I had written about being a home engineer and being apologetic about it, that was eons ago. I am older and hopefully wiser now and no longer afraid of the hidden barbs and open darts of scorn and derision in the eyes of successful career women.
Home engineers aren’t lazy slobs without any ambition to work in life, but are in fact more ambitious and hardworking than their feline counterparts . Just because a woman makes a conscious decision to stay at home and be a part of the lives of her family members doesn’t mean that she is avoiding work. She is increasing her work-load by acknowledging that her husband and children need more of her time and love. She does it out of her own free will and isn’t coerced into this position of nurturer and caregiver.
At the end of the day, her nightstand may not be overflowing with diamond earrings and necklaces or her wardrobe may not be flaunting Versace or Valentino’s creations but the sloppy kiss on her cheek and the garland of soft cuddly arms around her neck after she has finished reading a bedtime story to her two-year-old will be all the jewellery she needs for life. The comfortable, cotton, department store bought clothes and a handful of designer dresses, bought on special occasions, are enough to keep her happy. She is not a martyr and doesn’t demand acknowledgement for her sacrifices because these are life choices she makes and derives pleasure from every single day.
I have seen both sides of the coin and am in a position to state my views on this sensitive subject. I remember coming home from a part-time job, which I had taken up at the insistence of a good friend. She had wanted me to sub for her for a month as she had a family crisis to attend to. The job was fun and the timing was just from 11 to 4pm. My children used to come home at 2 pm from school and the live-in help was available 24/7.
Work, Inside and Outside the Home
My son came up to me one day and said, “Mummy, I want you to open the door for me when I came back from school.” Something shifted in my heart as I looked at his innocent face. It was at that moment that I decided to be there for both my kids when they came back home from school.
My daughter didn’t like this arrangement because she is an advocate of women’s lib and has always been the champion of the underdog. She scoffed at my 4-year-old son and told me in no uncertain terms, “Mom, go to work if it makes you happy. We can manage, I will help him do his homework and stuff.” My 7-year- old was mothering me, I was touched. To this day she blames him for not letting me go to work. She is studying to become a lawyer and can argue any case at home and in court.
A Time of Transition
My transition from a home engineer to a career woman was gradual but total. From doing a whole lot of work at home, I have moved on to doing the same if not more, work at my work place, my home. Let me elaborate, I have the best job in the world, an online one at the moment but it is slowly turning into an offline one as well. I have launched a social networking website, with the able and much needed support of a dear friend. We are online 24/7 or should I say 48/14 and we are loving it.
Now when someone asks me what I do, I tell them I do everything, because I work from home; I slip in and out of the roles of home engineer and businesswoman. Some days it becomes so confusing that I don’t know who I am and what I am doing here! I have the best of both worlds and am equally comfortable in both of them.
There is no age for starting over, and my time has come now. Age is just a number and I am 48 down, raring to go into this big and exciting world of business. Kriti and I have started this website, and we are hoping to put our collective know-how into it and making it a grand success. I, with my 24 years of being a home engineer and she with her experience as a marketing consultant, we are very different but we come together so beautifully that it surprises even us sometimes.
Sulekha Rawat
Check out Sulekha and Kriti’s new site: www.socialpotpourri.com
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27 Comments
Arvind, Welcome to my corner and thank you for your delightful question and compliment. I had met a home engineer who had floored me with her confidence, wit and charm, hence the term 🙂
Racy writing… doesn’t falter or digress or gets boring. One question though — why ‘home engineer’? Why not ‘home architect’… or ‘home doctor’… or ‘home consultant’… or ‘home manager’? 🙂
Arvind Passey
Yoshay, we all struggle in life and take comfort from stories of friends and how they overcame their problems and emerged winners. We all help each other along the way. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being our support.
Susan, I have also come to know you and my other online friends through the writings in your and their blogs.It’s nice to know that friends are cheering for you and wishing you success. Thank you for your beautiful compliment about my post.
Abhisek, Thank you so much for your best wishes.
Luchi Smiles, Thanks a ton 🙂
Savira, We appreciate your coming for our meet-ups and encouraging us. Thanks a ton.
Alpana, The feeling is mutual, we admire your talent and strength. Thank you for wishing us well.
Janaki, there are all kinds of people in this world and you are lucky to have never met someone who thinks homemakers are not as good as the working women.Thank you for your best wishes for our venture.
Lavina, The right artwork enhances the write-up. Thank you for having our backs, always.
Tameka, I forgot to thank you for your lovely and heartfelt wishes for our success. Hugs to you dear friend, thanks.
Martha, Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Like I said earlier, every person has his/her reasons for doing what they do. Appreciate your visit and best wishes.
Tameka, You are so right, women who are stay-at-home moms and those who go out to work everyday, are both part of the same society and each one is doing her bit to make the best of life. No two situations are alike and we can’t judge anybody else.What we can do is follow our dreams and work hard towards living them.
Rimly, We have started this journey only because we know that our friends are with us a hundred percent.Your love and support keeps us going strong.
Brenda, Thank you so much for your encouraging words.I am following my dream 🙂
What a brilliant write-up! Sulekha, hats off to you! I saw myself between those lines.
I have been struggling with the dilemma of these roles every single day of my life. I have been studying for most part of my life in the anticipation of a mind-blowing career, and while I have been doing that, I have been trying to be a great mother to my kids and a good wife. The weights at the two end of the pole had been gnawing at my shoulders until today, as I read this. I feel triumphant! I feel saved because I know that I am not alone. Thank your for sharing this, and Congratulations to you and Kriti for giving shape to your fantastic dream. Even more so, coz’ we are a part of it 🙂
Cheers to the two familiar divas! This post meant a lot of things for me: Grit, determination, confidence, and an ability to take risk. Knowing both of you, this post left me with a feeling – “Now I know these two even better.”
Sulekkha, I liked the realistic way in which this article was presented: No extra frills, no vainglorious expressions. True and deep.
This post is definitely one that every woman – working and non-working – should read.
Joy always,
Susan
I wish Sulekha and Kriti the very best.Keep up the good work Divas. 🙂
I always admire you for what you are..a winner..and I hope the two of you succeed in all that you do.
Donning many hats…hats off to you and kriti.
I must say this….most of my friends are career women and even now they say they are most willing to give up their careers in return to become full time homemakers…but, they have other commitments too. They are working and because of that they are neck deep in financial commitments and the only option is to work. It is a cycle which is never ending. But, am glad that they balance both house and the work beautifully. I have never ever once seen any of them scoffing at us, those who do not have a career.
Sulekha and Kriti – always happy to make your always interesting blogs look great with the appropriate artwork. Viva Chatty Divas!
What a wonderful article! I loved being a stay-at-home mom years ago; there’s nothing more rewarding.
I did go back to work because I needed the income, but am now a stay-at-homer once again, writing, of course, and loving every precious moment of it.
Proud of you, Sulekha, and of Kriti for beginning this new business venture. Best of luck and blessings!
You’re such a beautiful Chatty Diva Sulekha! I loved this piece! I have always been a career woman striving and working and climbing, but I absolutely respect women who choose to be home engineers! I was a latchkey kid growing up and it would often be well into the early evening when my parents came home. Of course I would keep myself busy and well entertained with books, homework and TV, but there is nothing like having your mom or dad open the door.
I think women who are stay-at-home moms and those who go out to work everyday should not look at each other in disdain. We all have a life path and have much to learn from one another. Hugs to you and Kriti on your exciting venture! I know it will be a success. Congrats!
Cheers to you home engineer turned entrepreneur! You two divas will go wonders with Social Potpourri! My best wishes are always with you two.
It’s tough being everything. I say stick to your dreams and follow your heart. It was always your time but now more than ever. Wonderful and inspiring.
Kriti, Thank you for always being there for me and for being the first one to comment on my post :)The images go very well with my article, thank you Lavina, for the same.
Sulekha, it needs a super woman like yourself to conquer the world – not all can do it! I have seen both sides of the coin too and I cannot agree more with you. Fantastic article and most fabulous images to go with it, Lavina!