The Single Desi, Relationships & the Dating World

The Single Desi & Love

When it comes to relationships and dating, I have seen and heard it all.  Desi men and desi women relate differently in the dating world and it is high time someone analyzed and read between the lines instead of taking everything at face value.  Desi men mainly use their left side of the brain, which is focused and to the point, which is why they are so direct.  Here are some dating scenarios that could come across as confusing if you aren’t sure how to read correctly:

Suppose you are dating a desi guy who never talks to you when he’s upset.  Obviously, you aren’t going to feel good about it, because you talk and share everything.  I mean you are a women and you need emotional intimacy, which includes talking.  What you really have to realize is that most men learn to handle problems by sucking it up, otherwise they are called wusses.  Word of advice to all you gorgeous, sexy, single, desi ladies out there, if he needs your advice, he will ask for it.  Prying it out of him is not the solution.  He will just clam up some more, leaving you out in the cold.  If he needs your advice, he will find a way to bring it up and include you in his decision making.

Single Desi – The Artful Dodger

One of my desi friends constantly complains about how she dates men who don’t appear to be into her.  They date her for a few weeks, drop off the face of the earth by dodging her emails, phone calls, text messages,etc… and then resurface out of nowhere as if nothing has happened.  Most of the time, these stand up desi men blame it on being busy or some other lame-o excuse.  However that isn’t the case.  If he were really into you, he wouldn’t leave.  Sex is their number one priority and they will do anything to keep it going strong.  Odds are, he met someone else, who takes less effort to bed.  If he reappears, it just means that his other women didn’t work out and he is backtracking through his little black book.  My advice to you is don’t take him back, it’s better to cut your losses early, than jump into the fast moving roller coaster and fall out when another chick comes into his view .

Where is this going?  I am sure we all ask our desi man this question at least once after knowing him for several weeks.  But the truth is, demanding that a relationship move faster than it is meant to go could spell trouble for your already commitment phobic boyfriend.  The truth is women start sleeping with a guy when they feel that he is future husband potential.  Men don’t necessarily feel that way.  They only start wondering if you are a keeper after they start sleeping with you and things cool off and they realize they like you for more than just sex.  When you are ready for some kind of commitment, wait four months before asking if your man is on the same page.

Ever need a false sense of security?  Don’t we all.  Some women tend to point out their critical points to their male partners in the hopes of gaining compliments and feeling more secure about their weaknesses.  Most desi men are blind to women’s imperfections because they are too busy checking out her assets (does she have a nice rack, sexy legs, etc…).  Bringing up your insecurities may land you some compliments, but beware, overtime, you may be subconsciously getting him to focus on those negatives and critical points.

Single Desi: Should you Ask a Guy Out?

Should you ask a desi guy out before he asks you out?  In my opinion, you should never ask a guy out before he asks you out.  I don’t care how much of a feminist you are – it’s a big mistake.  Men have been told their whole lives that it is their place to ask out a woman and if you upset that rule and confuse them, they just won’t be at their best.  In addition to that, if they haven’t asked you out yet, then they just aren’t into you.  In that case, they would only say yes because they (a) feel sorry for you or (b) assume that you will pay.  In either case, you lose.  Just be patient and wait for the guy to ask you.  If he never does, (a) move on or (b) buy some sexy lingerie to make yourself look and feel sexy.

Taking Charge of your Life

Getting your heart broken can lead you to a denial period where you keep contacting your ex in the hopes of rekindling your once spicy romance.  Don’t do it!  Once he is done with you and shows no interest in returning into your loving arms, he means it.  Reaching out to a guy after a breakup shows that you are desperate and still hung up over him.  You will be the one he turns to for a random one night stand, which can lead to further heartbreak.  Gather your friends around you, have them disconnect your phone and pop open a bottle of champagne celebrating your freedom and brand new life.

Your loving boyfriend tries to solve all problems.  Isn’t it great that your man really does care?  How rare is that nowadays?  It’s great and all, but sometimes you miss your independence and want to handle your own problems by yourself.  I mean no one is better at coming up with a solution than you…right?  When a desi man comes to your rescue and tries to bail you out of your latest drama, be thankful that he cares, because he does care.  However, explain nicely that you would like to handle this problem on your own; however you are thankful that he has your back.  He will definitely feel needed.

Well  Gorgeous, Sexy, Single Desi ladies, I hope this advice leads you to gain a little perspective on all your relationship inquiries.
Cheers!
xoxo

Monica Marwah

(Monica Marwah is a 30-something school psychologist  in Philadelphia.  After wandering the singles scene for years, she learned invaluable lessons on life, dating and relationships.  Now comfortably living life in her 30’s, she is sharing her own experiences on what it is like to break away from the traditional desi trend and live a life of your own. )

Related Posts:

The Failproof Desi Guide to Relationships
Desi Relationships – Heartbreak Hotel
Desi Girl’s Guide to Living Single and Loving It
Is Living in Sin the New Desi Thing?

What do you think of desi relationships?